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Are you a widowed woman who is absolutely dreading Valentine’s Da?  If you are, I  offer periodic free calls on topics like this and have had free sessions specifically for widowed women prior to Valentine’s Day.  If this doesn’t apply to you (thankfully) please do pass this along to others who might be interested, or who might know someone, and ask them to #share it.  I would very much appreciate the good turn.

Holidays are usually very hard for those who have lost a close loved one. If you have lost your spouse, either recently, or even some time ago, and you are someone for whom Valentine’s Day had a special meaning, then you may be feeling you just want to hide under the covers on this day.   You may not  want to come out till it’s all over. You may wonder how you will ever he happy again, or how you will cope with the memories that are flooding over you as you contemplate this holiday. 

Maybe you are thinking that you just barely got through Thanksgiving, Christmas, or Chanukah, Kwanzaa, New Year’s Eve and  New Year’s Day, (depending on which are your personal customs, and your family’s)  and gulp….Now the stores here in the U.S. anyway, are full of red heart decorations, stuffed animals, funny or romantic greeting cards, balloons and candy…candy..candy.

There are some very unique challenges and adjustments that come with this role of being a widow. Of course, there’s  the overwhelming grief, that sometimes stops you in your tracks, cuts off your very breath, almost knocking you down, each time you start to think you are doing all right.

If this is your very first Valentine’s Day without your spouse or partner, and you have celebrated it in the past  it is likely to feel especially devastating.  (Not everyone does celebrate.  Some have religious objections and some people don’t go for the sentimental.  It’s not their style. )

Maybe your friends and relatives are trying to understand your feelings. Maybe they are attempting to distract you by inviting you to some activity. That’s good , if you want to go, but if you don’t, it may be quite difficult for them to get why not, if they haven’t had a similar type of loss in their own lives.  Maybe they want to understand, and mean well, but are telling you to “get over it”, or that “you are not the only one”, and they don’t realize how it makes you feel when they say such things. You may want to share memories with someone, but are finding that your friends and relatives will only listen just so long, before they suggest to you that it’s maudlin, and that you need to “move on”.  You know you do, but you don’t know how. You wonder if you ever will be able to.

Your friends and family care about you, but  many don’t know the right things to say to you, not only on Valentine’s Day, but in general.

So that’s why I hold these sessions, where you can talk about this with some other women who DO know some of the things you are going through.  Nobody has exactly the same feelings as you, because we are all unique. However, there are some common experiences and bonds when people have been through similar things. Even if you are a very private person, or are shy, you would be surprised how good it feels to spend some time talking with others in a like situation.

Together we explore some ideas you are likely to find useful.   We share some memories, if you wish, that honor your spouse and your past together. You can expect to  emerge from this type of offering with a couple of good takeaways that are suited to your needs, designed by you and our group. There are usually both smiles and tears, shed in a safe space, so be prepared.  You won’t be forced to do or say anything you don’t wish to.   We also try to have fun at these sessions.  Yes, even widows are allowed to have fun! That’s part of your healing and growth, and your self-care. Laughter is  really good medicine.

Not a group type person, even if it’s free? Maybe 1-1 private coaching is the right thing for you. We can discuss it.

Email me.

ir**@vi*******************.com











and we will set up a time to chat.

Iris Arenson-Fuller, PCC, CPC, owner of Vision Powered Coaching,  is a certified professional coach, credentialed by the International Coach Federation, and has also had many decades of experience working with couples, families and singles. Iris specializes in loss, grief, and tough life stage changes, as well as being an expert in adoption loss and all adoption issues.

Iris was widowed in her 30’s and has lost many family members. Though she has remarried, she has never forgotten the pain and struggles she and her kids went through.  She gets particular satisfaction from helping widows survive and learn to find peace, new purpose and renewed joy, in whatever ways suit them, and are right for them.

Iris offers private coaching via Zoom.  She also offers other low-cost group sessions and programs, and sometimes free ones like this one described above.