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 Tell me there aren’t some things you have said or done to loved ones that you wished you could take back or do differently.  How many times have you wished for a do-over?  We often read smarmy and so-called inspirational sayings about not having any regrets. Truthfully, I don’t know a single person who doesn’t have some regrets, or who can’t think of at least one scenario they have lived through when they wished they could have taken a timeout to slow things down and avert doing something hastily that they might later regret.

Tell me that you haven’t ever wished that you could freeze life for a moment or two so that you could think of just the right response to someone.  Have you ever wanted  some extra time to decide on a course of action  about something demanding a decision from you?   I know you have been there and so have I.

It’s almost 2014. Let’s not pretend there are no regrets lurking about, taunting you and making you feel bad. Let’s do something about those regrets.  Try naming them first.  If you let them shimmy and shake in the background of your days and don’t make them come forward and reveal themselves in all of their ugliness, you probably won’t do anything about them.  So let them into the ring. Introduce them.  “In this corner, weighing about a thousand pounds and sitting heavily on my heart, is…………”

My advice is to let your regrets duke it out with each other, while you gracefully step out of the arena. As soon as you have owned up to your regrets and mistakes, and formed an honest and strong intention to change your behavior, those regrets and mistakes cease to hold the same kind of power over you that they did in the past. They become 90 pound weaklings.   It’s  definitely time to acknowledge what you believe you have done wrong, what you might have done more competently, what you caused there to be too much of, or too little of, and what you could have done more kindly.  You can leave 2013 and head for the bright blank pages of the 2014 calendar. These pages are empty and yet they are full of hope and possibilities.  The pages are waiting to be filled up with new things, with change, with improvement. You have won the match and it’s time to celebrate.

Happy New Year!