RESILIENCE-Get off that island! Research at Simmons College revealed that ““Resilient people instinctively identify those who are available, trustworthy, and helpful. Then they go toward this light.” Do you think you have resilience? Or have you already convinced yourself that you don’t?
If you have suffered through very hard times, or are grieving the loss of a loss one, you may need help finding your inner resilience. I believe strongly that some of us have a naturally resilient nature, but those who don’t can learn and practice tools to build that resilience, and to strengthen it.
It may be tempting to pull in and to allow yourself to feel miserable. You may prefer to live on your own little island of sadness and pain. You may find excuses to keep others at arm’s length. You may look for all the ways in which the people in your life fall short, as an excuse for your own behavior, for your lack of desire to step out of your own funk, or your comfort zone. However, if you behave this way, it will be hard for you to grow through your grief or the difficulties that life may have dealt you, so that you can find a way to live in a peaceful, and even joyful way.
Perhaps you think, “I don’t want peace and joy. Nothing ever seems to work out for me. I have rotten luck, or I have lost my loved one. I will never be all right again.”
Then you are not ready to grow and to feel better. For some reason, you may not think you deserve to feel better. Examine that thought and answer why, to yourself, of course, and not to us. Where is that coming from? Is it guilt? is it an ANT or Automatic Negative Thought that comes from your conditioning as a child–from your family of origin?
If you truly want to discover your resilience, you have to begin to believe that you are worth finding it. You have to believe there is a way–and even multiple ways-to feel better and to reinvent yourself. You have to believe there are others out there whose hands you can take, whose shoulders you can cry on, who can support, comfort, help and teach. You have to make up your mind to disengage from those people and things who contribute to your suffering, and who hold you back. You have to seek all who have light in their lives, because those who don’t will create shadows and keep you in the darkness.
You have to search within yourself for the buried strength that is still there. Let your own light out. Then take the next boat off your island of isolation and get back out into the world again. When you first step off the gangplank, your legs will be shaky. That will change, but only if you commit to making that happen and open yourself up to the world again.
You do have to grieve whatever and whomever you have lost. You just don’t have to suffer for the rest of your life!
Are you ready to commit to changing how you think and act? Are you ready to invest in yourself and your future? Find out if Life and Loss Transformation Coaching is for you. Let’s have a free, no-obligation consultation very soon. Fill out the form below and I will get back to you soon.
