This content has been archived. It may no longer be relevant
This is a reprint/revision of a 2009 post. I decided to re-post it because several of my clients are currently working on love letters or love poems to themselves and I feel it is a beneficial and helpful learning tool for people to undertake.
LOVE LETTERS
http://www.publicdomainpictures.net/view-image.php?image=1970&picture=love-letter
A recurring theme with my coaching clients nowadays is lack of self-care. Many people seem to have learned how not to love themselves enough. Often they have been too caught up in advancing, achieving and being what others want and expect them to be. While these behaviors can come from a lifetime of imprinted learning and can have roots in our families of origin, in coaching we prefer to focus on the present and on the future. We can facilitate new insights and understanding through questions and answers that propel people to reflection and deep introspection. When we see things in fresh new ways, the gate opens and we are free to travel in exciting and more productive directions.
Clients often express that they have no time for themselves and for doing things that help them relax and recharge their batteries. We are usually quick to do things for others, so why don’t we know how to do the same for ourselves? I know all too well how crazy life gets and how many obligations and tasks we must fit into our weeks. At times I have visualized a giant shoehorn to assist me in cramming just one more thing into my schedule. Instead, I should have been concentrating on finding ways to chill out and to be kind, loving and attentive to myself. In the long run, when we do that we are so much more able to focus on our work and our goals when our spirits feel rejuvenated and restored.
We have lots of good intentions but often we don’t carry them out, or we begin changes that make us feel hopeful, positive and more energized, but they are not lasting changes. Things just kind of fizzle on us. We don’t take the necessary time to look deeply and carefully at ourselves and to make sure before we undertake anything, that we have first assessed our own health, our feelings and needs and our true goals. We often push ourselves to complete tasks, to achieve, acquire, or to earn recognition that in the end, leave us still feeling dissatisfied, bored, or unhappy
So, I ask you a question….What is it about yourself that you don’t love enough to decide you are worth taking time for yourself? What are the things you DO love about yourself? An exercise I like to ask clients to try is to commit to writing themselves a beautiful love letter, focusing on all of the qualities they like and appreciate about themselves, but don’t normally think about. They can also contemplate what special qualities others have told them they possess and why those acknowledgments made them feel good.
Are you up to the challenge and fun of writing yourself an incredible love letter? Who knows you better than you? You don’t have to be a writer to do it. If you are into poetry, perhaps you would prefer to write a love poem to yourself? Pull out all the stops and just let it flow. Settle into a favorite spot where it is quiet and where there will be no interruptions or only minimal ones. Put on some music if that helps inspires you. Give this process as a gift to yourself for your birthday, or on any day. If you like the results, share it with your friends and significant others. I guarantee there will be growth and learning on all sides.
After you have done this, what about writing the same kind of love letter to the important people in your life? Can you write an equally poetic, heartfelt and acknowledging letter to those in your life to whom you do not usually express such sentiments? When was the last time you told your spouse or partner, your boyfriend, son or daughter, about all of the magnificent qualities that add up to who he or she is?
Your results may be private ones that evoke feelings you can call up again when you need them. Your letter or poem may open up further tender and inspiring conversations with yourself and with others. If you want to share your results, this blog might be a great place to do so and I will happily give you the floor as a guest writer if you are interested. Do let me know! Sometimes exercises like this will facilitate new insights for the writer, but sometimes they will uncover old wounds and feelings of grief that are holding you back. If you find this is true for you, I would like to help. You can reach me by writing me…
ir**@vi*******************.com
.
