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The other day,  the topic for this blog post came to me in an odd way. I had just showered, finished dressing, put on my workout clothes, my socks and my sneakers, and tied them in a double-knot as I still do (a habit from years and years as a parent and a grandparent, I suppose).  I put on my pedometer and marched downstairs, ready to start a new day, when it happened.

I suddenly experienced a fierce itching on the top of my left foot, in an area not at all accessible with my thick sock and sneaker on.  I ran and grabbed a comb and inched it under my shoe, but it did no good. My back has been bothering me, so  I really didn’t want to unlace my sneakers and take both my shoe and sock off, but this itch was like a demon. It would subside for a few seconds and then come back ferociously. I simply could not stand it. I had to tear off my shoe and my sock and give that itch an aggressive round of scratching, though I knew that sometimes scratching too hard irritates nerve endings and may even intensify an itch soon after the first moment of blessed relief. I knew very well that I would be better served by trying to think of something other than the itch.

Or have you ever gotten a nose itch right after you, or somebody else applied fresh nail polish?  I have. I know how intense the itch becomes, so you try to rub your nose a bit with the back of your hand. It does no good. It itches so badly that it is making your eyes water. You don’t want to ruin your new polish, especially if you are at a salon and paid your hard-earned money for your Perfectly Pink.  Before this nose-itch appeared, you were happily daydreaming about your romantic plans for the evening with your significant other, and how lovely you would look. Suddenly every thought vanishes but that of the maddening itch that is plaguing you.  You just can’t bear it for one more moment and you lose control and go for it.  Damn the consequences!  Ah! Relief! Then you notice your nail is totally messed up. It looks like you took potato peeler to it and started to scrape.  When you can, you catch the eye of the manicurist, and when she approaches, you show her and request that she repair the damage. She gives you a disapproving look and admonishes you to be more careful, as though you are a small child. You feel like one at that moment.

When something like this  happens and firmly plants itself in our heads, whether it is  really happening to our bodies, like an itch, or a negative, destructive  thought that comes to us., the more we think about it, focus on it, and obsess about it, the worse it becomes. That thought takes hold of us and roughly and rudely pushes away our other more rational, reasonable thoughts unless we fight it. It wraps itself around the sensible ideas in our heads and starts to choke them, till they give up and till the negativity dominates.

Let’s say that your co-worker said something about you that was very irritating, or even hurtful,  at a meeting with your boss and other staff members. You didn’t quite know how to respond, so you said nothing. You smiled a weak sort of smile and couldn’t wait till you could escape from the room. Since that moment, thoughts of what he said and how you felt have consumed you. The rest of your day was spent only half-heartedly playing with the work in front of you on your desk.  Instead, you were occupied imagining the witty retorts you could have/should have come up with at the meeting, as a response to that co-worker. The more you thought about this, the more angry you became. You could feel your blood pressure going up. Your back started to hurt and your jaw was clenching tightly, but you didn’t even realize it at first. You were planning how to take this further, how to get back at the one who offended you, who humiliated you. Suddenly the end of the work day arrived and you left for home.  The rest of the evening you ignored everybody around you.  You imagined scenes in which you challenge your co-worker and leave him looking like a fool. Then you began to berate yourself for not handling this better and for letting him get away with it. When bedtime rolled around, you were exhausted, your body was stressed and your self-esteem wasn’t doing too well either. You didn’t sleep well at all, because you couldn’t stop going over and over the incident.

The response to the above can be compared to that terrible itch. The more you turned all of your attention and energy to this, the more it consumed and controlled you.

So what do you do when you have that impossible itch, or when those wild, unruly, unproductive thoughts invade your world and wreak havoc?

                                    What do you do if you obsess?

                                    You don’t really have to confess.

                                     Just find something that helps to distract

                                     and gets you off that repetitive track.

                                     Make a list of things to do.

                                     Use the ones that are tried and true

                                     that pull you out of that ramped-up place

                                    and take you to a calmer space.

                                    If anger waves are building up

                                    get a ball and play with your pup.

                                    Music helps to soothe the nerves,

                                   gentle sounds and gentle curves

                                   can change your mood and soothe your soul

                                   before obsessions take their toll.

                                   Take a walk and slow your pace.

                                   Commune with nature, life’s not a race.

                                   You don’t have to scratch that awful itch.

                                   Do something now to make you switch.

                                   Shift your focus, change your locus.

                                   Now breathe, breathe, breathe.

                                   Don’t seethe.

 

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