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I recently did a guest post at www.pledgingforchange.com
Here it is:
Are You Transparent and Is That Good Or Bad?
What does the word transparency mean to you? Do you want to appear transparent to others? Is this a state of being you strive for in your personal life
and your business too, or would you prefer to be one way in conducting your personal business and another when you are in your professional persona?
I know for me, the desire to be transparent has changed as I have aged and as I have functioned in various roles. When I was a teenager, I took great delight in being described as “complicated” and “enigmatic”. I particularly liked young men to perceive me as mysterious and obscure. I thought this added to my sex appeal and kept them guessing. It worked for years, till I realized that I was keeping people at a distance, rather than forming close, substantive and meaningful relationships. People, and especially guys, thought it was interesting and attractive at first, but I am pretty sure they got bored or fatigued after a while at having to expend so much energy trying to figure me out. Some said they were intimidated by me and though they were interested, I think they concluded they would rather have invested their time in girls who were more accessible and easier to figure out. I had no shortage of admirers but, as do many teenagers, I still felt very alone and that nobody understood me. How I expected to be understand is a puzzle to me now, since I did all I could to prevent that from happening. I believe I did this with female friends and teachers, as well for a time, until I decided I wanted my interactions with people to be deeper and more important.
As I matured and understood myself better, I gradually became the person I am now. People who have known me in adulthood might not recognize the young version of me, because I always strive for transparency in my relationships (business and private). I am no longer fearful of having people see through me, or see into the core of the person I really am because I like myself better and I am more confident about who I am. I don’t feel I have anything to hide and am proud of the lessons learned through a multitude of struggles in my earlier life. So, for the most part, I wear my feelings on my sleeve and am accessible as a human being. When we allow ourselves to be accessible and vulnerable we open the door for others to feel safe doing this too. We demonstrate to others what our characters are about and we give them courage.
So how does it help us to be transparent in our business dealings and to take responsibility for what we say and do? As Wikipedia states in a definition of transparency in business, it means “openness, communication and accountability” and is a “metaphorical extension of the meaning used in the physical sciences–to be seen through”. If we spend a lot of time building up an image that is not based on what we truly know and on the skills we have to offer in our business, people may be initially attracted to us but they tend not to stick around. They go elsewhere when they see that our capabilities don’t match our self-promotion. When we are always honest, we don’t have to waste time worrying about how to cover our tracks or how to be consistent with any lies we have told in the past. When we are honest we build trust so that our business relationships are ongoing and we are not only more likely to retain our clients and customers, but we get referrals from them. Wise clients quickly discern the difference between those focused on creating a façade and in self aggrandizement, and those who truly want to serve their clients and meet their needs.
As a
life coach, I know that people succeed best at reaching their goals and making lasting changes when they are in control of their learning and their exploration and they have all of the information they require to make good choices for themselves. When clients receive what we pledge to give or do, because we are open and clear about what we offer and how we operate, they are better informed and in a better position to arrive at decisions and to take courses of action that work for them.
An example I like to give from my own life was when my husband and I went searching for our first house, years ago. We had little experience at house hunting and a pretty limited budget. We were shown around the town we had chosen by several real estate agents who told us why their companies were best and about their sales records. They took us to view properties that were nothing like what interested us. They ferried us around in fancy cars and showed us houses that were either too expensive for us, or that were in our price range but were in horrible condition. Under the guise of looking out for our needs and wanting to help us, they suggested that there was little on the market at our price and that we should consider higher priced homes, or we wouldn’t find anything appropriate. We later learned that this is a common tactic.
Then we found Pat, a young agent, who picked us up in an old VW bug and who spent a lot of time trying to learn what we truly wanted in a home. She asked about our life style and our personalities, in addition to our finances. She took us to see a modest older home that had a lovely yard, but was not in the best shape. The owners had done some renovation work but ran out of money and never completed it. Some of their choices were definitely not in keeping with our tastes. We were skeptical but she pointed out the great features and “bones” of the house and that the work it required was largely cosmetic. She was very honest about any flaws and was enthusiastic, open and desired to serve us. She was genuine, transparent and clear. We were sold and over the years referred quite a few people to her. We also listed our home with her when we were ready to move to a new community.
I have to say that it continues to work best for me to be transparent in all aspects of my life but it is crucial in business, to my way of thinking. Ask yourself some questions about how transparent you are in conducting your personal and business lives. Do you build lasting relationships with your clients or customers and do they send you others because they are pleased with how you operate and with your results? If your answer is that you are still more occupied in building an image than in building an atmosphere of honesty and transparency, perhaps it is time to rethink what you want to accomplish and how you are going to do it.
About coachiris
I am a Certified Professional Coach specializing in Big Changes, Hard Choices and 2nd Chances (a Life Stage, Family, Relationship Changes Coach). I have 40 yrs of experience in all phases of adoption work and much experience with loss, bereavement and aging/sandwich generation issues. These are my specialties.
I am a poet/writer, wife, mother, grandmother. I lived through difficult years as a young widow and raising my kids as a single parent. I work with clients located anywhere, primarily through telesessions and classes, though I also see clients face-to-face.
Follow Coach Iris on Twitter at http://twitter.com/coachiris
Don’t forget to check out www.pledgingforchange.com and thanks for visiting.
