Indeed, life is complex and stressful for most of us nowadays and getting through it is often all about balance, balance, balance!

Many prospective clients tell me this is an area they truly need to improve.   Americans, in particular, have unfortunately become workaholics. We are known for having shorter vacations than our European counterparts, for taking our work home with us all the time, and for not knowing how to unplug our cell phones and computers.  Creating balance in our lives is not our strongest skill in the U.S.

I enjoy watching gymnasts perform. Do you?  Aside from admiring and being amazed at their abilities, I am reminded to step up my own balance exercises. I have always had notoriously poor balance.  In addition to working on my physical balance, like most people, I have to stay mindful of maintaining other kinds of balance in my life. I am a lot better at it then I used to be, partly because I know how important it is for one’s health, but also because my life nowadays allows me greater freedom.

I used to have a job for nearly 30 years (director of a non-profit adoption agency) that always threw crises my way.  It was wonderful work, but also was often quite stressful.  Crises always seemed to happen on weekends or after work hours. Sometimes my family did not understand why I had to talk with hysterical parents who were stuck in another country waiting to process their adoptions and bring home their new children.  The parents often needed me to clarify something, or to fax officials one more crucial document.   My family also didn’t get that when a woman thinking about placing a local child for adoption left a message, no matter the time of day or night, she needed to reach a caring person, or to receive a return call almost immediately. Though I was passionate about, and dedicated to my mission, all of this took a toll on me, and on my family. I was rather slow to learn about how to balance work, family and other areas of my life.

Slowly, over the years, due perhaps to the gradual acquisition of some long-needed wisdom that had previously escaped me, and due to a few health crises here and there, I learned to set limits and boundaries. I still tried to be responsive to my clients, who are now coaching clients, but have learned much better to value my time and my family’s.

If trying to maintain balance in your life makes you feel like you are about to fall off the balance beam, you’re most assuredly not alone. We all have a great many demands on our time and energy. You might want to take the following quiz to see how well you are meeting responsibilities, while also recognizing and fulfilling personal needs and wants.

True False

1. The only way I can successfully manage my life is to take care of myself physically and emotionally.

2. Nurturing myself enlarges my capacity to help others.

3. I eat healthfully and exercise regularly.

4. I get check-ups, go to the dentist, and take preventative precautions.

5. I set aside quiet time for prayer or meditation, or just let my thoughts pleasantly drift.

6. I experience the gifts of each season: ice skating, sledding, bundled-up beach walks; gardening, hiking, more time outside; camping, swimming, barbeques; harvesting the bounty, gathering wood, or spending more time inside, if I find that relaxing and enjoyable.

7. Creativity nurtures me, too. I do what I love, whether that’s cooking, drawing, painting, writing, dancing, singing, or another creative pursuit.

8. Reaching out to others enriches my life. I spend quality time with family and friends.

9. Contributing to the world provides connection and purpose, so I give my time, energy and experience where it is most useful.

10. I notice and heed the emotional signals that tell me I’m out of balance: irritability, overwhelm, resentment.

11. If I feel that I’m catching a cold, I realize I may have stressed my immune system with over activity, so I stop and take care of myself.

12. When I need or want to, I say no to requests for my time.

13. I listen to and honor the requests my body makes for such things as a nap, a walk, green vegetables, hot soup.

14. If I have something planned for myself, I don’t just toss that aside when someone makes a request of me.

15. I’m busy, but I find time to do the things I want to do.

16. I’m happy. I regularly experience well-being, contentment, even joy.

If you answered false more often than true, you may want to take a look at the questions to which you answered false and see if you can incorporate something of its message into your life. Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you’d like to explore this issue further.

ir**@vi*******************.com

The above quiz is used under license, © 2011 Claire Communications

Iris J. Arenson, PCC, CPC  is a certified and credentialed Life and Grief Transformation, Life Reinvention coach, who helps people with difficult life stage, family and relationship changes.

Contact Iris for more info and check out this web site.  

ir**@vi*******************.com