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I am dressed in many layers. Are you?  I am not really only referring to our apparel for the bitter cold weather we are having right now.

This morning when I got dressed to head for an appointment in a nearby town, I bundled up. When it’s this cold, I tend to stop caring about how I look.  I want to be warm. I did take a quick glance at myself in the mirror, and realized I looked pretty bulky, Who wouldn’t with a heavy, long skirt, warm leggings underneath, long socks, lined, high suede boots,  a thick sweater and a fleecy sweatshirt with a fur-trimmed hood? Gone was the fairly trim appearance I have worked hard to maintain since losing some weight a year or so ago. I think if you saw me today, you might never guess that a pretty pudgy woman isn’t lurking under all of those cold-weather garments.

I think we all sport multiple layers.  Sometimes we create them to make ourselves feel or to seem more interesting to others. Sometimes we wear them to hide the things we don’t like about ourselves, but are afraid of changing,  or unsure of how to do so.  Sometimes we don the layers or build them to protect and to insulate ourselves. We feel too vulnerable exposing the real us to the world.

Then we wonder why others don’t “get” us. We feel alone at times, or misunderstood. We resent that even those close to us don’t see beneath our facades and reach out in ways we crave. We want to have our true selves recognized and validated.

Well, I guarantee that today, nobody is going to tell me how svelte I look, or even how attractive (and yes, even sixty-something, married ladies like to hear that at times).  I also am pretty sure that until you learn to stop hiding who you really are, until you accept and like yourself, and permit the true you to break through the layers that cover you up,  until you let yourself shine for all the world to see, you will most likely continue to feel misunderstood, under-appreciated and maybe even pretty isolated.

All the world will not have the finer sensibilities and sensitivity to see and grasp the special things about you, but the people who truly matter in your life will.

Are you ready to stop covering up and to start being real?

Certified and Credentialed Coach, Iris Arenson-Fuller, PCC, CPC, is a Life and Grief Transformation Coach, Life Reinvention Coach helping people (mostly midlife women, widows and Baby Boomer women}create a better present and a more promising future, no matter what they have been through in the past. She also  has many decades of experience in Adoption Loss and all adoption issues.

Contact Coach Iris: 

ir**@vi*******************.com