(#Trauma #PTSD #Adoption #Blessings)
I really do like the show, “This Is Us”, the award-winning NBC program created by Dan Fogelman, though some of you have heard me criticize a few things about it. Still, this week’s episode was extremely difficult for me. It was just a little too much “Us”. Now that a couple of days have passed since the episode, I am back to remembering my blessings, but Tuesday’s show was quite painful for me, and this has lingered. That’s why I’m writing about it. It helps.
My criticism had to do with the original premise of the show. A family that had just lost a baby, would not likely be permitted to take an infant home to adopt, along with their two other newborns. Also they had not been studied, prepared or approved for any adoption, let alone for a transracial adoption, and in so many ways, seemed woefully naive and unprepared for raising a child of a different race. Do they have consultants on the show who are knowledgeable enough about these things? (I’m available guys, if you need me).
Why, oh why, though, did the writers have to make a fire the cause of Jack’s (the father’s) death? Those of you who know me are aware that my first husband died in a fire a long, long time ago. I still suffer from PTSD at times.
I have worked very hard over the years, to acquire tools for handling triggers and for coping. I have rebuilt my life and learned how to find joy in a multitude of ways. However, I will most likely always have to deal with some of the effects of this tragedy on me and on my kids. The hidden blessing is my ability to understand and to help many others who have also been through traumatic events, loss of different kinds, or are struggling through their own grief journeys.
We all have gifts that don’t begin as obvious blessings. It may take us a long while to view our more trying times as having anything good about them at all. We all have hidden blessings. When we train ourselves to notice them, to use them for growth, for increased compassion, and as a way to give to others, our lives are immeasurably enriched, in spite of whatever hardships we have endured in the past.
What are some hidden blessings in your own life that you did not at first perceive as blessings?