Questions Clients Ask
(Birth Parents, Adoptees, Adoptive Parents, Prospective Parents)
*Birth parents who are in process of placing, or who have placed a child and want to get on with living in the most positive, productive, helpful way
I am happy with my choice of an adoptive family, but I just can’t seem to get over my grief. I think about my child all the time. How can I begin to move ahead and make plans for the rest of my life? I have had counseling, but I need some additional support. I just don’t know what I really want or what to do next.
* Young adults or adult adoptees, who are ready to integrate the past with the present, and to be happier and more successful in life
I feel weird talking to my parents about my birth family. I want to know more about them. Are they like me? Do they have the same quirks and talents? Why didn’t they raise me? Do they think about me? Has my adoption had an impact on who I am today? Do I want to undertake a search for my birth family? What will that be like and how will I handle it? What if it doesn’t work out, or what if I discover a lot of painful things? What if my birth mom or dad reject me? What if my adoptive parents can’t handle my searching?
* Mature women or men who placed a child for adoption in the past, may or may not have told current families about it, and whose adult children have contacted them and want to meet, or to learn more about them.
I don’t know how my husband or other children will react. My life is just fine now. I’m too old to deal with this. Do I need to? If I respond to my adult child’s request, how do I handle the can of worms that is being opened? What if I want to have her or him in my life, but my spouse or other kids don’t like the idea?
* Someone who has experienced infertility
Am I ready? How do I get over my pain? Is adoption for me? If I am considering adoption, will I love an adopted child as much as a biological one? What’s next? Will the stress of the infertility journey and its impact on my marriage or primary relationship affect how I experience and survive the adoption process? What can I do about it?
* A couple or single with a history of multiple miscarriages, or the death of a child
Will I/we ever recover and will my/ our loss history prevent me from giving my all to another child? How can my partner and family help me through the next stage? How can I help myself?
* Adoptive parents needing help with adoption-related issues of their kids at various developmental phases
When do we talk about adoption? How? What are the best things to say? What are the stages when kids have the most questions or concerns? How do we educate our families, teachers, friends and our children’s peers about adoption? How do we best support our preadolescents, our adopted teens and young adults?
* Parents raising multicultural families
How important is it to emphasize cultural differences, similarities, traditions? How much is too much? What if we have multiple ethnic and/or racial backgrounds in our family? What if our child doesn’t seem interested? How can we do our best to ensure that our child is raised with respect for, and pride in, the heritage of his or her birth?